F.A.A. vs 2020 - We Made It!

 (A Year-End Reflection)

       

         I still do not know what Y2021 would bring.  If there is anything I learned the hardest in Y2020, that is, no matter how much you plan ahead, there is still 80% of this so-called LIFE that is beyond anyone’s strategic plan & control.  A huge part of it brings real “SURPRISES”, both good and bad.  And it takes  “F.A.A.” to survive it through --- FAITH, AGILITY, ADAPTABILITY.  A lesson I RE-LEARNED in 2020!

        “Indeed, there is really no comfort zone to keep; or permanent ideals to lean on at all.  In a minute, all these can change…”

        Oh YES!!! Y2020 was a tough, onerous year! There had been rugged years before but NOTHING like this yet.  Why? Is it because of the calamities that came one after the other, aha! Or the pandemic which scared the nerve out of us, very true! But, I think, most of all, it is about how the whole world stopped for a moment; knocking down its traditional beliefs and ways which served as our compass for so long; throwing us towards new rules, new ways, new behavior; forcing us to let go of all we built painstakingly in the past; only to start our way of LIFE all over again … on a clean slate!  Then, again, surviving with the “unknown” one day at a time … is the hardest…

        Nonetheless, all these “new searches” unexpectedly led to some blessings, too, such as:

• ·       More meaningful work
• ·       New passion and sources of livelihood
• ·    Simpler but more peaceful life-pace that enhanced most precious “relationships” --- to God & family 

        Thus, as I shifted my thoughts & feelings away from my old “wirings”, then, only then! I started comprehending the relevance of Y2020 to our history.  It is hard, indeed, but probably, I realize, it is a phase we all need to go through.  Probably, there had been “signs” leading to human atrophy that we have been missing for so long; we just didn’t know them.  And like many stories in the Bible, we needed God to step in.  And, certainly, HIS divine intervention was felt in our lives through many and thousand forms!

        This time, hopefully, we LEARN & NOT FORGET anymore.

        So, what’s now? 

        I still don’t know.  As a friend shared, none of today’s challenges will magically go away as Y2020 ends.  All the so-called “unpredictability” and “struggles” may stay.  Thus, we should remain steadfast with our F.A.A.

        But, as a personal resolute, I just want to open myself to understanding God’s plan more and the role I must play in his grand Holy Will.  I want to be more attentive, intuitive … discerning of HIS will.

        As a child of God, I continuously beg for his mercy and thank him for his unfaltering faithfulness to my well-being; and that of my family, too.  I pray that he continuously showers us with healthy mind & body; blesses & secures our jobs; and, most of all, keeps us connected all the time, physically or virtually.

        As a believer, I pray for an EASY, PEACEFULL, PROSPEROUS Y2021 … Dream on, as they would say; but, I know, “what I BELIEVE IN & BUILD in my mind will SHAPE the things to come”.  My FAITH, positive & strong, will fulfill the HOPES & DREAMS for this new year!  

        So, Welcome Y2021 … here’s to another beginning!!!

Roxanne 2021

The Love Story of My Pandesal

 (Tribute to my beloved Dad's 28th Year Death Remembrance)

CONFESSION

This love story has been waiting to be published for years (like three years over-due in the oven).  In fact, I have re-drafted it multiple times; though, the message never altered.  It was "locked down" in thoughts for so long because the bread never came out ready ... 😃.  "The baking struggle was real".

DOWN THE MEMORY LANE

"Why do we need to walk this far every morning if it only makes you feel winded (or "out of breath"), Dad?", the 7-year old me observed. 

"I need to, anak (daughter)", Dad uttered each word in between his heavy breaths.

"But why do we have to? Please, Dad, let's just ask someone to buy the PANDESAL for us", I complained.

He smiled and touched my head, "Don't you worry, anak! You see, I really want to walk.  I want to exercise my heart every day so I can spend more time with you".... 💓💓💓

MY LIFE WITHOU HIM

Those were the "fondest", "cheesy-iest"... yet, also, the "heaviest" childhood memories I have of Dad.  His "heart" always disturbed me during my growing up years.  It was like a ticking time bomb my little praying hands tried best to suppress for as long as I can.  However, at a young age of 22, I lost him, just the same.  I guess, that was simply how far my prayers could go.

Thus, his untimely demise was truly the "most heart-breaking" experience for me; but, it was also the ultimate "turning point" to my adulthood.  After that loss, I swear I strove the hardest to serve justice to his lifetime -- no matter how short or fleeting it seemed to be.  Somehow, I made a personal vow  that "what I would become after losing him", would be the living proof of his entire life's legacy.  His death, I said, would be my life compass.  

So, whenever I see Pandesal, I remember "him" and my promise! But when my family migrated to the U.S, I hardly found bread rolls close to what I was used to (Pinoy cravings!). And with every frustration is a feeling of "homesickness" for my country ... and for those "loving years" with my father.  Thus, for 3 years now, I got obsessed with all "Pandesal" recipes.  But, I never came close to a success.  "Just  epic baking failures; one after the other".

Until I mused, that, just like Dad's morning gait, every struggle is a time well-spent.  And every try can eventually lead to one's perfect serving... "Tiwala lang sa sarili hehehe".

So, here's the closest I can go ... my own "Pandesal" (which is, actually, more of a "monay".  But what the heck? I got that familiar aroma I missed so long...)

Cravings fulfilled!)  

Cheers to you, Dad,

Tatan

To my readers:  Cheesy, huh?! But always remember that, with every childhood memory we honor, lies stories of a rich family tradition of love! 

So, how 'bout you?  What bread story do you have ;-)?

A Mom Never Asks...

My Tribute To Adelaida Roque (Mama Deng)

To write about her, for the reason I have to and, of all times, now, at this very unusual period of lock-down, social distancing, pandemic ... truly sucks so bad, I do not how to start?

But, in honor, of her GREAT LIFE and LOVE that could conquer era, space and time, I give this ... even if IT HURTS SO BAD.

Mama Deng, thank you.  Please don't worry.  It is your turn now to be truly HAPPY, knowing all of us you've taken good care of have turned out well.  We will not fail you. So go on ... FOLLOW THE LIGHT! As you have passionately dotted over us during our younger years, now, our prayers will see you through!

A MOM NEVER ASKS…

I had so many why’s

I had migraine

Tryin’ to figure it out

But then, I now know why

Coz you’ve never asked…

You never impose on any of us!

Just like when were small

You never asked any at all…

You were happy doing all chores

So your little ones enjoy their toys!

You were Mama Deng

The “Second Mom” to us all

You loved ‘Te Will so much

But your love was shared with us all

And until we have grown

You & Papa Erning filled the void

You were there in all our adult moments

Never asking … but just to be called!

And until your last days

In our lives, you chose we just go on…

You still didn’t impose

Somewhere, probably, you’ll still watch over us ,after all?

Your Cryin' Baby, Tatan

A Small HR Voice Reflecting

As I think about the threats of COVID-19 widespread, I can’t help but view things from a Human Resource (HR) Management perspective (I have been wired to think this way for so long; forgive me!).  

And ignite readiness among us so that we, its practitioners, can aid in the appropriate correction of things after this alarming hiatus of our generation.

When we were thrown unexpectedly from our busy “normal” life, I began to ask the “what’s” and the “why’s” that led us here.  And began challenging the way we have managed our daily lives --- yes, the manner by which seemingly we have inflicted undue conflict between “doing our businesses”, which, actually consume 70% of our time, as against how we are “living our lives” as genuine human beings? 

I am now with a non-profit agency, serving the “poorest of the poor”, as our mission upholds it, and I am exactly in the “heart of the chaos” where, as a first-hand witness to the disturbing pleas yet, likewise, significant victories of fierce social workers, I can only stand at awe over the strength of the human spirit.  Ahh, the modern-day heroes of our times.  I listen; I counsel; I serve them, within the “comforts” of my home; while they give hope every day to those infected and / or still exposed to this “virus”; every single moment risking their lives.   I believe something is so wrong in this set-up; yet, I am, likewise, aware of my responsibilities to distant myself.  Believe me, to serve someone under the context of “social distancing” is so NEW; it totally bothers & freaks me out, somehow!

Thus, the troubling times sipped in and I began pondering, “where do we, HR, bring our people after this experience?”.  Surely, “they” & “us” will never be the same amidst this horrendous “wake up call”!

Sure!  We will never cease to HIRE, TRAIN, REWARD employees so they can achieve their dreams…  but can we put a stop to this RAT-RACE lifestyle?

I had been &, ironically, until now, am still a victim & an advocate of this vicious life struggle!  But, if we haven’t realized yet, amidst a “rat-race” culture is a detrimental neglect to the order of care & mindful respect; hurting balance of time, environment & relationships.  It breathes competition, healthy at first, but would pave for endless clash between & within people themselves.  It springboards people so fast from one place to another; driving them to mindless calibration of tasks, goals, plans that will always be more than they can handle.  It restlessly traps them in loops of phones, laptops, gadgets, cars, planes which successfully connect them, yet, disintegrate them?  Rat-race makes them ALL, (oh! I mean all of US), invincible; unstoppable; greedily searching for more.  At the end, we become unaware of our anxious spirits, tired and disturbed core.  We are always present; yet, “detached” … and lost?!

Now that the world stops for a while, I am brought back to highlighting the essential needs of workers:

• ·       Good Health
• ·       Basic Needs (Food, Shelter, Decent Buying Power)
• ·       Genuine Connection to Man’s Longevity … that which nourishes His Soul (Loved Ones, Nature, God)

I fear if not thwarted exponentially, this threat can always come back in a mutated form, more dreadful, more damaging economically … and spiritually…

I am clueless to my ponderings now! I am just going circles with my reverie’ … but I hope I ignite one soul to help us seek where we must evolve as “champions of the people”.  Yes, to be the first catalyst of change in possibly "best mind-set & human behavior"?

I am just one tiny, weeny voice.  But global organizations, like the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), Coaches Federations, etc., or even local HR / Employee - service groups, must re-think ways and provide agenda that will finally answer the gap between “earning a living” and “truly living a life”.  I know it is too much a burden to put on us because such should be, in the first place, even world-wide government and religious goals.

But who is it that they say should “put the people first” in the workplace?

So, I pose the question to HR and all organization leaders (who are HR in their own rights), “Where do we bring the workers… from here? 

Thinking … worried … hopeful,

Roxanne

MIRACLE WISH

...Is my everyday prayer to fight for Mamu

Wishing that her eyes open up to a new day

Her lungs to breathe fresh hope

And her heart to beat another song

That she'll soon take those steps again

To do what she loves most

Say her thoughts, wise and good 

Send me love and smiles of joy

Though, I know all is in God's will

But this child wishes once more, 

A day, a week, … or some years

For MOM whom I love the most 

- Rox _

LIFE IS AN EASTER CELEBRATION

RISING is everyday…

When you wake up…

When you conquer your fears…

When you try new things…

When you pick yourself up…

When you do all things to heal…

When you say, “I will cry no more”…

When you shout, “I WILL CLOSE THIS DEAL”!...

When you go up the stage, even after endless many years…

When you admitted what’s wrong & said “SORRY!” for it…

When, once you’ve lost the track & finally found your way in…

So, see! There’s just so many things … so many chances indeed!

For LIFE is a series of rising … and RISING we shall always be!

Holy Week 2019

Rox

What is Black Saturday?

DARKNESS… SILENCE… PEACE

For in the dark, self finds comfort from within

So quiet down; Listen inside of you; Assess…

Shed off some skin 

Let there be purging & be clean

So that when you are called to RISE once more,

You will come out LIGHT & in BLISS!

Holy Week Reflections 2019

Rox

What is Good Friday?

Is a day of RECKONING

When you realize in life

You need to make a stand, 

Take sides, Do what is RIGHT

Even if it means giving up one’s LIFE

It is also KEEPING FAITH

Believing how hard it might be

How heavy such yoke could be

Still, you can’t go WRONG

If what you DO, you DO for LOVE…

Holy Week Reflections 2019

Rox

What is Maundy Thursday?

Is the day of true LEADERSHIP

When the highest of them all

Bowed down to wash, kiss their feet

Showing HUMILITY is a trait

Only the strongest & wisest can give

‘Tis also a day of true GIVING

Sharing not of bread & wine 

But of TIME, PRESENCE, TOGETHERNESS

So that when one’s time has gone

One’s memories still burn to inspire…



Holy Week Reflections 2019

Rox
    

Lost Bubbles For A Friend

Reflection & Prayer poem for the unexpected passing of Samarn Ya, a dear friend, at Cathoic Community Services, last 04/05/19.  She had been the VERY FIRST OFFICE-FRIEND I was provileged to cherish in the last 1 1/2 years of my stay in WA, U.S.  She was the first to welcome me warmly, supported me & helped me integrate mysef in this very diverse workforce.  Our friendship helped me survive the first few years of adjustment.  I could not imagine what it would be like without having an "angel" around ... But, then, as the cliche' always goes, angels fly back to heaven, I guess ... Just made me believe more that angels come in different forms to help you be strong in your journey & when you can be on your own, sadly, they may fly away.  However, I know, they will always be watching over me...

Lost Bubbles for a Friend

What is going on in your heart & mind now?

Are you still in pain? Or are you relieved? 

Are you as confused as I am now?

Watching over you, still denying what I see?

 

Aren’t you asking “why, oh why”?

“Is this happening … Is this really the last?”; 

“What are the words unsaid… stories unraveled

And messages you could have withheld…”?

Why was it so quick, my friend?

There were certainly signs I missed

I cannot fathom; I can only cry…

Whispering words that you may never hear…

But then … don’t you not

Coz, probably, you’re here & you can

Strong, smiling, .… happy

Trying to wipe all these tears away

For soon there would be a light

Beautiful & bright….

Walk to it, my friend, don’t look back 

For our prayers will keep your memories alive

Then, float & claim your wings

Dance in every way you’ve wished

But, please, in your heart, spare some prayers

For us, who’ll miss you faithfully…

By Rox

(A Friend)

TRAPPED

… In a Tapestry of WHITE
With sheer purity that delights this CHILD

It never stays; comes as a SURPRISE
So, off, dear CHILD, do play and dance!

Pray it lasts a LITTLE WHILE
Enough to enjoy the trap … 

Ice so cold.. but soft, 
Fluffy with your TOUCH

Cushions your feet..
Aha haha, drowns you with a LAUGH!

Capture the momentary SERENITY
Oh Seattle snow … Hi, 😉! … then, it's GONE 😍

Follow Dad's

In post cards no more...

Not a little Christmas Tree after all???

Car Wash anyone?

Hello hello snowy Washington.  This 02.04.2019!!!

CREEPY

Amazing that BIRDS would know a TREE

Even without its leaves

Probably, it's like me finding YOU

Wherever YOU may be 😍

...? Stalker peg hehehee

The  Aftermath

How can you watch something so beautiful
Fade away...

It is melancholic joy
Like the setting of the sun
Or the melting of snow
Or the mighty splash of wave against the shore
That goes away … silently, gracefully

---0---

So you just breathe a deep sigh
Look up and whisper against the wind
"It will be OK"...let the moment be
For with every fading …

The promise of the morning comes

The colorful season changes
And the vigorous current rushes back

---0---

But it will be after … only after
… When the next glorious moment comes!
… When after all the waiting... and the longing
… And the wishing
TIME, suddenly, unfolds...surprise!
… Aha, there never really was a lonely end,...after all! 😍

- By Simply Rox -