LIGAYA ANG ITAWAG MO SA AKIN ("Call Me Joy")

 Eulogy For Mom

(Read before the Mass Offered For The Repose of the Soul of Ligaya C. Roque)

She is our MAMU…

She would always be remembered as a GORGEOUS woman

• Charito Solis – Look alike
• Complexion - porcelain clear
• Hair - Luscious, wavy, light brown, sometimes, straight, frizzy or curl
• Teeth – always glistened; beaming from red, vibrant smiles that were generous to all
  
• Eyes – they’re round, piercing, but when you look into them, she endeared you with all her emotions
  
• Voice – oh goodness, such a lovely pitch, no one sang “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” as effortlessly as Mamu
  
• And when she spoke, whether in Tagalog, English, Ilokano … she remained demure, soft, yet teeming with substance
• Whenever she walked, dressed up, or graced any occasion, she always stood out in the crowd without even trying
• ‘Yan si ATE LILY, MOTHER LILY, TITA LILY, LIGAYA
• Dignified, classy, regal…

 

But she was not just a pretty face, she was a BRILLIANT lady

• Witty, street-smart, fast-learner
• Spent most of her life as a CAREER WOMAN but, mind you, never an absentee Mom
• She travelled, at some point, because she was always recognized for her excellent performance
• Her superiors praised her; She always ended up, not just an Executive Assistant, but a CONFIDANTE to them & their families
• Her peers respected her for such skill
• And as they say, “Put Mother Lily in any situation, she evolved”
• Mingle her with any class & nationality, and, she blended well with anyone
• She was just so versatile, self-reliant person; Spoke “mind of her own”
• There was no hint of insecurity with her aura; Hence, immensely “TRUSTED” in her field
• And, even after retirement, Mamu never lost her mental alertness
• At age 82, “Sorry, guys”, she never relinquished the title …your FACEBOOK QUEEN
• That’s our Ligaya!

But MORE than anything, she was a WIFE and a MOTHER

• But, again, an EXTRAORDINARY ONE
• As a wife, she assumed a “bread winner role” in the mid of her marriage to Arch Bienvenido Roque
• She became, ultimately,  Dad’s sole REASON TO LIVE while battling with his “illness”
• Their partnership taught me what “MARRIAGE” is, what “commitment to one person” really should be!
• But, at the same time, she was a mother,
• A truly EXTRA SPECIAL one to be able to love, nurture a child with “cerebral palsy” … My Ate!
• (“Samahan mo pa ng dalawang nagkukunwaring NORMAL … ako at si Kuya!”)
• Then, you know, how TOUGH it was for her as a mother… both physically & spiritually
• But she was the family’s amazing “ROCK”
• No one, not Dad, not Ate, ever felt they were burden to her
• She was simply filled with love and sense of responsibility
• She made us all feel … “NOTHING was ever wrong or dysfunctional!”
• We were perfect as we were…
• Truly, she was our Ligaya!

 

But family to Mamu is NOT JUST “US”, her immediate circle

• Family, to her, is about relatives & friends, 2^nd, 3^rd or more in consanguinity
• That we must constantly connect with
• Mamu called for “communing, celebrating, gathering even for smallest reason”
• She loved reunions; Hated missing a single one!
• She always reminded me, “Find time, ‘Tan! Ang mga apo ko! Dapat kilala nila pinsan nila, titas nila, titos, ninongs, ninangs.  When times get rough, PAMILYA ang tinatakbuhan”
• Words that proved how much she valued FAMILY TIME
• But she went beyond that…
• She also believed Family is not just about “blood-relations”
• But FRIENDS, as well;  Oh, how she loved meeting up with them regularly!
• Dining out, window-shopping … or simply Messenger chatting
• And she continuously made NEW ONES even in her late age …
• Her people skills were so exceptional … “She is such a PEOPLE-PERSON”, she took in anyone & everyone… EVEN MY OWN FRIENDS!”
• In fact, one friend said, “Di ko na nga maalala kung sino talaga ang friend ko, Rox, eh.  Kung ikaw? O si MAMU?”
• Showbiz talaga siya! Mother Lily, indeed!

 

 

But, FOR ME, Mamu was my MENTOR

• Do you know that, as early as my formative years, I already knew what “corporate playground” is?
• I mastered alpahabet A-Z by filing office records & tinkering with the electric type-writer
• I memorized 1-10 by playing with office elevators & the PABX telephone system
• Some Saturdays, during her “over-time”, I looked forward to playing as her “OFFICE ASSISTANT”
• She introduced me to a place which, she said, would bring me to WONDROUS DESTINATIONS & make me RICH
• That’s the BRITISH LIBRARY in New Manila
• There, she let me spend hours, exploring shelves of books, while she waited outside
• Until now, friends, I still go to libraries!… SEEKING answers from books & writings
• And, still believing “YAYAMAN DIN AKO”… SOMEDAY!

 

Most importantly, in tandem with Mama Deng (her closest BILAS who took me in as her own), Mamu served as my great SPEECH THERAPIST

• (“As you all know, I grew up with speech difficulty.  BULOL 😜!”)
• Some nights, after picking me up from Mama Deng’s place,
• Even if I was already in tantrums, tired & wanted to just sleep
• She would still make me TALK, TALK, TALK!
• Narrating stories of the day … ONE AFTER ANOTHER until I pleased her
• Only then, would we go to sleep…
• I realized she was doing therapy with me
• At the end, she did straighten my “crooked” tounge … but, probably, unaware she also made a STORY-TELLER out of me
• Now, you understand, why I am like this… “WHY I TALK ENDLESSLY?!!!”
• Blame it on our Ligaya!

 

Mamu was also my TALENT MANAGER

• Growing up until my teens, my summers were filled with activities
• She arranged lessons, community work, contests … “Minsan, may pa-beau-con pa!!!”
• I got exasperated sometimes …
• But I realized after, it was not about winning.  She exposed me to the “GIFT OF SELF-DISCOVERY & MASTERY!”.  A technique I now use in my profession.

But, Mamu’s biggest role in my life is being my husband’s & chlidren’s DEFENSE LAWYER & PROTECTOR

• Even when I got wrapped up in my own busy world;
• I never feared any;  knowing “No one can ever mess up with my household!”
• Because Ligaya guarded them with all might

 

But truly, she is my SOUL MATE

• My Guide, My Joy
• My shock-absorber, My sounding-board
• My ever-reliable friend
• The voice, during my dark times, reminding me of 3 valuable LIFE MOTTOS:
  
•       QUE SERA SERA (Whatever will be, will be!”)
•       HAKUNA MATATA (It means worry-free) … And her most favorite…
  
•       MOVE ON … Always move on
  
• Every time she uttered those encouraging phrases, she always brought “LIGHT & JOY” to whatever predicament I was in.

 

So, in summary, do you want to know the SECRET to Mamu’s LONG WELL-LIVED LIFE?

Amazingly simple! … Mamu is a child of God who learned how to LIVE IN THE “MOMENT” given her, GRATEFUL for all that came her way, and faithfully LETTING GO to God those that were beyond her control.  Something, I am yet to follow …

 

I will miss my Ligaya … but I believe God just granted her “BIGGER, MAJESTIC WINGS” so she can fly faster to me whenever I need her.

 

I still cry a lot, yes, because of the longingness that comes in waves, but every tear I shed, I assure you, reminds me of how BLESSED, PROUD & PRIVILEGED I am to have had a “GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN’S JOY ON EARTH” because, in my lifetime, my EARTH ANGEL, is LIGAYA!

 

Lily's Lucky Girl,

Roxanne 
(Whom She Fondly Called "My Tatan")