I SAW MOM

The bus passed by and there was a fleeting reflection of her

I cannot be mistaken of her stand

Of the way she tilted her head when she was impatient

Of the way she wrapped her scarf around her to stay warm

I felt a clutch in my heart … I know I saw her there!

 

It happened last week…

Then, there was that goosebump again

When I was staring up a store display

And across the other glass panel, I saw her again

Standing with her back on me!  She seemed to be looking up the same display; just the way she used to amuse herself? 

 

Probably, it is because I think of her a lot, I told myself?

But, then, again, I was reading my book this time

And when I raised my head, closed my eyes to rest

At the first side-glance of the window pane, I saw that expression of her

When she was tired and bored; oh, the way she heaved a sigh … no! my eyes were tired?

 

But then, one time, I was washing the dishes

Suddenly, melancholy ran over me

I wondered over my hands … oh, how they’ve changed through the years

Yet, they reminded me so much of someone else’s

Someone whose hands used to give me courage and warmth

No, it can’t be.  These are my hands … but why I do I feel their Mom’s?

 

I kept all these musings inside me … for I don’t believe in haunting

Or illusion.  This is just me and my mind always running wild

But, funny, at dinner time, my son opened up

My daughter gave her thoughts;  My husband said his piece

I only said, “That’s it! Then, you can move on”. 

They hysterically laughed. They said I sounded like their “Grandma”

 

That night, I looked at the mirror approvingly

Saw some gray hairs I’ve grown but always colored

Some wrinkles I have earned but managed so far

I know she was staring back at me with those lovely, piercing eyes

Saying, ‘You’re aging more and more like me, my child”

“Yes, Mom”.  And, I know it’s not YOU.  It’s but me keeping your memories ALIVE!

Just a child missing her Mom, 

Roxanne

(Aka Tatan)