(Tribute to my grandfather, father and 2nd father)
THE ROMANTIC DREAMER
“Why are you crying, apo?”
“I wanna play outside. But it’s
raining! The sun is gone”, the 5-year old me wailed.
Then with his playful tone and a soft
tap on my head, he said, “Oh because, my dear apo, the sunshine is in the house”.
I looked up at him. We smiled at
one another and I began collecting my toys, books, coloring materials. I played as he watched over me. And we were happy. “No rain can dampen the joy of my little life
since then”.
Child Psychology? Yes, at an
early age, I learned that “happiness” is not brought by the sun, rain or
stars. You carry it along with you … all
the time.
Geodetic Engineer Carlos Roque, my Papang Karling, is
my POET, my WRITER, my ROMANTIC DREAMER. It is with him I learned that I must search
for “beauty” from whatever situation I am in; that I must always study, continuously
discover things about me and be at awe about life, in general. He is the one
who inspired me about the “power of the pen”
as a means to bring a “little sunshine” to everyone I encounter and, hopefully,
make a lasting difference in their lives…. (Oh, and that is why I am writing this
now J ).
THE MENTOR
His heart always bothered
me. His breathing was always something
to watch out for … when he was happy, sad or busy; when he was painting or
doing chores; when he was making memories with family, friends and … me. And whenever I saw the heaviness of his chest
which, every now & then, broke his happiness, my heart was also shattered into
pieces … over and over again.
But there were mornings he would exercise
his lungs (& rheumatic heart) with a lazy gait in our village. He would wake me up, grab my hand, and would
say, “Let’s go, anak. Let’s buy pandesal”.
And during those sunny, playful,
super-sweet walk in my “pajamas”, I heard him breathe his prayers for me, “ You
are my hope; You are my strength: You will change these all”.
Sad, but I never did! Not with
him. I lost him too early in my 20s… but
I learned that amidst the daily struggles to fight and live LIFE to the fullest,
one just need to turn to prayers; to faith; to trusting God that against all
hurdles, HE will see me through --- “Just
keep on going … until your last breath”.
Architect Bienvenido Roque, my beloved Dad, the first man I ever loved, is my SPIRITUAL MENTOR. His constant
battle to provide and give the very best to his family, in spite of his own
personal struggles, built the fortitude of my character… & my FAITH (Until now, he whispers good fate in my
dreams J).
THE GUARDIAN
“Give way, give way!”. He was no superman. Naawh, not too tall, not muscular
at all. Like Dad, he coughed a lot too.
But, at that moment, I saw this very gentle man argued with my teachers,
hassled & buzzled for a cab, carried me in his arms as if I were a precious
gem. He brought me home, feverish & nauseous. He was sweating & I sensed anxiety
overwhelming him. But when he saw my
Tita & yaya giving me a sponge, my heart melted with his sigh of relief. He
knew, “I was going to be OK … thanks to
him!”
He was always like that. Always filling
the void in my young life, whatever that may be – from putting on my socks,
helping me with my homework, covering my books, keeping eye on me whenever my
parents could not. He was simply there …
And in that special day of my
life when I was to be given away to the “One I Chose”, he walked me down the
aisle. But, as always, he was trembling as he held my arms. He was anxious, probably, full of uncertainties. But, I looked at him and said, “It’s Ok, Tito. I am ready”.
And he let go…
But, he never did… completely! In
all occasions of my married, adult life, he was there. The dotting uncle, always standing up for the brother he lost (my Dad). Checking, visiting, sharing … as if I were his
very own.
Geodetic Engineer Ernesto Roque, my Papa Erning, my Guardian, taught me that being a father is not just about providing
or bragging off a fight for your damsel.
It is about “being there” for her … whenever needed. It is about “giving your time”, “your presence” … “filling up the void, whenever
the need arises”.
LIFE’S SNIPPETS OF WISDOM
So, you see, folks. I did not grow up with “Mr Incredible” type of
MEN whose physique is typical as big,
tall, muscled; who can sweep you off your feet and turn you around with strength;
who can give you the stars, moon and riches of this world!
Oh no! They are architects & engineers of the soft-spoken,
gentle, humble breed:
·
MEN who
can SPEAK their minds without hurting anyone;
·
MEN who,
over a fight, would rather teach me the skills & wisdom to find my place in
this so-called man’s world;
·
MEN who
can shed tears to empathize with me;
·
MEN who are
so strong, they can be STILL & just LISTEN
·
… Knowing
I am an equal; I am strong … but when I break down, it is all that I need!
Yes, I did meet equally good men
after, too. (And probably, some of you
are reading this blog because you are my family & friends J). Men who equally entertained me (ehem ehem)
but, more so, respected, loved and helped me achieve my dreams!
But these 3 men are exceptional! Because long before the others came,
they already SHAPED ME to be
a worthy contributor amidst these other men.
Thus, my billion-dollar question
to ponder on for you is this: “Who are you in your loved ones’ lives? How have you been helping them shape themselves
into the persons they should become?”
REMINDERS & GREETINGS!
So, dear grandpas, dads, uncles,
kuyas, et al… More than physical gifts, may you continuously give your TIME, ATTENTION, MENTORSHIP to your
young ones … this is the very essence of “fatherhood”, for me.
Who knows?! They might end up like me someday … writing
good stories about you? J. Wouldn’t that be nice to aspire for?
So, from hereon, let your every
encounter with them be a moment of helping them find their special place in
this world. A moment to cherish and be re-told over & over again. Make good
memories with our children, dear ones! God bless you all…
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!
Rox
“Believer In The Good of Men”
